“How to Coordinate the Chaos in the Land of Momville”

The role of being a wife, stay at home mom of four kids as well as, a full time student and business owner, I have the chaos cut out for me. Three and a half years ago I was put to the test. The pandemic dropped in my lap and I was forced to stand at attention and become the commander and chief of my household full time. I learned a lot within that time. I’ve gained some resilience and learned to pivot and shift with no warning. Now, I am not perfect nor have all the answers but I have gained some extra tools under my belt to coordinate the chaos effectively. It all came down to trying this and that to see what works best for me and mine! (All while sharing and interacting with other moms like myself of course)

During that time families all over were losing their marbles trying to juggle school and working from home. We also had to deal with the uncertainty of what was going on in the world. I was working full time as a parent educator but the pandemic left me with the decision of leaving the workplace and keeping my kiddos at home. It was a bittersweet decision as the job was becoming more and more demanding with expectations I could not realistically meet. I was also overwhelmed and exhausted. So here we are near 2023 still going strong!

Juggling the duties of a Stay at home Mom is not easy! It is all still a work in progress and I can say that I am starting to level out the hills and valleys. The kids are all in school now so things look a little different but the foundation remains the same. I wouldn’t say I have a time based schedule BUT I do have a nice routine that the family has adjusted to.

Starting out I had to shut out the outside noise and influence. I had to really focus on what values were important to me. I had to take into consideration where my family was mentally and developmentally as well. This helped me to strategically individualize my plans. Doing this helped to keep my expectations realistic. I quickly noticed that a lot of my burnout and frustration came from the outside. I was holding my family up to unrealistic expectations. I found that what is for others doesn’t mean it was for us.

3 things that brought calm to the chaos…routines, boundaries, and patience.

1. Routines with being a parent are essential. They provide the family with predictability, structure, and expectations. Kids are more cooperative when they have a sense of order. When there is no order there is too much room for boredom and confusion. Routines also help us as parents with control of the day. We can visually see how our day can go and what windows of opportunity we have for other things, like “me time”. Just remember first, next, and then when establishing routines. And try to stay as consistent as possible while keeping in mind the developmental stages your children are in.

2. Boundaries are life rules. No matter what anybody says we cannot be productive in life without rules. Set boundaries with your family as well as others outside of your family. It’s useful for keeping down unnecessary household messes. It’s useful for maintaining order. It’s also useful for your mental state as well as teaching your children to protect their space as well. Set boundaries in place from no eating outside the kitchen all the way to no phone calls after 7PM. Talk with your kiddos and express the things they may need to set boundaries for when it comes to school, friends, and even family. As a unit stick to those rules, expectations, and boundaries for the peace you desire. It creates respect and confidence. Both are things we need as we progress throughout life.

3. Patience is key! This is not a quick fix! It is going to take consistency and understanding that it will take time for things to fall into place. Parenting is a journey with the understanding of balance. The balance is knowing that some days will be smooth and other days not so much. In order to prevent contributing to the chaos you have to practice patience. Our kids will not respond well to pushy instruction. We won’t either lol!

Chaos can be coordinated to bring peace to the household environment. Don’t be afraid to take the necessary steps to make your home more pleasant. It’s totally okay to invest in your sanity! If you’re in need of a hand, I am available to help. Email me today at mikacreates@mommiversity.com to get started!